|Cars are, of course, central to US mythology. For this reason a few
of our US readers were quite concerned that we might not have bought one
of Detroit's finest. Fortunately - I hope - we selected a vehicle that
America can be proud of. The following exchange between Mark Leonard and
myself should make clear the critical role that the car holds in the US
citizen's heart, as well as providing a little more insight into the nature
of the beast that Beluga is.
...I know that Jan and you lived in Manhattan, the only place in all of
the United States in which a car is optional. Because of this you
may not understand the important place that the automobile holds in American
culture. There are fathers who can tell you the length and weight
of their cars but not their children. There are women who know the
make of the first car in which they made love but not the name of the lover.
The one thing that all Americans know, though, is that American cars are
better than Japanese cars - all evidence to the contrary.
So what all Americans, myself included, need to know is - did you buy an
American made 4x4? Please, we must know. And, if you plan on
touring the U.S. below the Mason-Dixon Line (a term you no doubt learned
on your trip to Washington D.C.), does this truck (the proper term for
this hulking manly piece of machinery) have a gun rack (and, perhaps, a
Confederate flag for your antenna)?
...You can relax, for we have invested in a Ford Bronco. What's more, it
is what I believe is known as the "full-size version". Roughly speaking,
as I understand it, there is a vehicle known as the Ford Bronco II. This
sad excuse for a motor vehicle has a puny 2.8 litre engine, weighs less
than half a ton and might well not survive a direct hit from an Exocet
missile. For all these good reasons it is apparently disparaged by the
cognoscenti (aka GOP-NRA-KKK-...). Stop me if I've got any of this wrong...
In any case, we have the full size 5 litre V8 mountain-towing tobacco-chewing
commie-squishing variety, so you should still be able to hold your headup
down at Hogs and Heifers whilst mentioning my name.
(click thumbnails for a larger picture) |
Jan and car...
David and car